The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

There are all sorts of different skills that we aquire in life. Sometimes they're useful such as cooking or carpentry, and others are fun but useless such as trivia or stat skills. Then there's the skills that are useful to have but you wish you had never had to use them in the first place.

I have those type of skills.

This is a long story.

I am the person that you want to have when you are stuck on the side of a road next to an inoperable car. Yes, I know how to be stranded and how to deal with it.

Over the course of my driving lifetime I have had more flat tires than anyone I know, even members of the unofficial flat tire club. That includes Mrs. H. and Sher Bear. I have been in 5 fender benders that I can recall. Two were my fault, two were the other driver's fault, and once I was in a taxi in Malaysia. My fault for getting in the cab. And then, there's the number of times that the vehicle that I'm driving just plain stops working for no good reason.

On Tuesday I mentioned that my car was at Firestone. It was there for the 60K check and the car had been overheating in stop and go traffic for the last couple of months. No big because I learned long ago to turn on the heater when your car does that. This time, the car was worse than I thought but no one told me. I called Firestone at 3:00 pm to see if my car was ready. "Um no." Long pause. "Didn't anyone call you?" Me - "No." Firestone - "We need to keep it overnight." Me - instant panic! I had a 7:30 am meeting the next day that was 160 miles from home and I needed that car! Firestone - "we'll take care of it tonight."

For the record, I have been going to this Firestone for 8 years and since I'm there every 6 - 7 weeks, they know me pretty well. (I drive a lot) The shop closed at 7:00 pm but since they had made a promise, the mechanic stayed until the job was done. At 11:00 pm that night we all stumbled out of the shop. Myself, the mechanic, the manager, and this poor guy whose car broke down and he was stranded until the manager could give him a ride to a hotel. Now that's customer service!

I hit the road and arrived at my Palm Desert hotel (they also know me by name which means I'm there far too often) at 1:30 am. Now I was wide awake and couldn't sleep. A few hours later the alarm was going off and after a brief Starbucks stop, I was at the meeting. Being around people always wakes me up so the day went by just fine and late afternoon I headed for home. Once I was within 30 miles of home I thought, "why not get the Firestone guys a thank-you gift for putting in the extra effort? I can go by the outlet to "Harry & David's" and find something. The next decision was the route. Take the freeway or the surface street. The surface street won and that was the wrong choice.

Palomar Airport Road is a great shortcut except during rush hour and that's when I arrived. 5:15 pm. The traffic was of the go really fast (20 mph) and stop. Over and over. I looked in the reaw view and thought for sure the guy behind me was going to hit me a couple of times. I was so sure of it that at one point I sped up the car really quick to get away and when I did, I heard the sound. "Thwunwnk!" Nothing else sounds like the noise metal cars make when they collide. I looked in the rear view again and saw the guy behind me was really right behind me and there was a car stuck to his bumper. I did the quick assessment. Was I hit? I didn't think so. Did I feel okay? Yes. I must not be hit. But the driver's behind me didn't look so good so I pulled over and went to see if they were okay.

The guy behind me who was hit was a spaz. On the cell phone probably calling a lawyer, he runs out of his car and starts taking pictures. The lady who hit him seemed to be in shock and I verified that she was okay and then I waited for this drama to play out. Camera guy wouldn't even talk to us because he was so busy calling everyone he could. He finally looked at me and his main concern was that he didn't hit my car. I asked how he was and he said his arm hurt. (Same arm that took the pictures with such speed) The lady finally gets out of her car to see the damage so I talk to her for a few minutes. Neither of the people involved have yet to acknowledge the existence of each other. I'm thinking, "how do you people not know what to do?" I advise the lady, who I now know as Kate, to call her insurance company and then arrange for a tow. Her car was a mess and she wasn't going anywhere.

Camera Guy still hasn't talked to Kate and he's now calling police. They ask me to stay and boy was I glad that I didn't actually witness the accident, I just heard the dreaded noise. After 20 minutes of my having separate conversations with both Kate and Camera Guy, they finally speak to each other. It turns out this was a first accident for both of them. I'm thinking they're pretty well along in driving years for this to be the first accident, (I ruined a Miata's bumper at 19) and to make it worse, both of their cars were fairly new. At this point I'm more worried about Kate because she seemed unnerved and who wouldn't be if you hit a spaz? But just as I'm thinking it will never end, the police office arrived and started sorting things out and eventually set me free. I said good-bye and good-luck to Camera Guy and Kate, and then I went on to the outlet.

Now I was even more determined to do a good deed for Firestone and after spending 30 minutes in Harry & Davids, I departed with the perfect boxes of chocolates.

Fast forward to this morning at 7:00 am. I go into Firestone and drop off the boxes. I told Eric what a wonderful job the night crew had done and he knew all about it. My car was the story of the moment for them. I then hit the freeway and as I did, I noticed steam coming from the tail pipe. Well it was cold outside but my car didn't usually do this. As my attention went back to the front of the car I couldn't see it anymore. There were steam vents coming from under the hood and a none too plesant smell. I looked at the dash and the heat gage was in the red and no amount of heater power was going to help. Resigned, I pulled over to the side of the freeway and hit the emergency lights.

This is where the getting stranded skill really is useful.

Once I realized that the car was not on fire and it was more or less safe I grabbed the cell and called Eric. "Hi Eric, I was just in there and I'll be coming back as soon as I can get a tow." Next call to the car care company, arrange for the tow, and 45 minutes later, I was back at Firestone where the morning began.

I have since walked home, notified the dentist that I would not be arriving today, had breakfast, stared at my to-do list, and generally have been rather shut down by this unexpected turn of events. I now sit here and wait for the phone call, prepared to rent a car, or walk back to Firestone to pick up my car. Whatever comes first.

The chocolates have now turned into "guilt insurance" and I know this time the car will be taken care of.

Note to universe - I don't need any more practice or refresher courses in how to be stranded. I've got it, been there done that. But if any of you ever need help and start to panic on the side of the road, call me. I have the skills.


Endnote:
And here at the end of the day, the story ends well. It turned out that some stray hose decided to break free. Firestone has clamped that hose back in place and thanked me for the chocolates.