The Water Horse

A movie about a baby Nessie looks fun enough and should be cute, right? Not so if you’re in the theater for The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep. I think this is billed as a family film but it’s more of a dark tale of WWII, sadness, and a million reasons why wild animals never make good pets. The premise is easy enough, a small boy finds an object that is really an egg and a creature is hatched who later becomes the Nessie of today’s legend. Capering cuteness is what the movie has for maybe two minutes and the remaining 2 hours (give or take) are about a boy who’s waiting for his father to return from the war.

The movie is set in Scotland and filmed in New Zealand but pretty views are rare and we are exposed to the bleakness of life in 1942 Scotland. The story is told by an old man in a pub to a young tourist couple and we have the obligatory flashbacks to this setting off and on. The military officers while British and there to protect are while not quite mean, well they’re mean. There’s a pointless love triangle, and almost too much going on besides the troubled boy and his new pet. The activities of the fishing duo who “discover” Nessie and the dueling house cook/military cook escapades provide the only lighthearted relief in the movie.

I’m not sure what The Water Horse set out to be but I don’t think it succeeded. I could never get connected to the boy or to Nessie to even care. Somewhat of a yawner, the movie also happened to be the loudest that I’ve heard in a long time. Between the cannon fire, the over-played music, and the boy’s constant shouting, the last 20 minutes almost warrant earplugs. Maybe that was the only way the filmmakers could guarantee to keep the audience awake.